Racism is unfair and stupid. If you believe that racism can be justified or fair, please leave this page and go to meet people who agree with you. I am not going to waste my time with a racist. And racism against children kills personalities and is a form of child abuse. Child abuse is a crime.
Racism comes in many disguised. It can look like a desire to help. Even demands to give preference to colored people in certain situations can be a sign of racism because implies that they need special support. Whenever a person, child or adult, is judged by skin color racism occurs. People should be judged individually by their behavior, skills and intentions.
Racism is a Fact of Life
An African in Germany has to perform much better than an ethnic German to be successful. Even with unparalleled excellence he will have a hard time to perform well as a supervisor for ethnic Germans, because he needs to spend an unbelievable amount of energy to make Germans accept him as their boss. Racism is common in the German society. But still, I insist that skin color should only be a topic in health and skin care.
The Victim Mentality Trap
Racism can easily create a victim mentality. Finger pointing is not helpful. It hands the responsibility for the own well-being to others. And these others have indeed their own priorities and interests. This victim mentality creates a lot of excuses. It hammers into the heads why we cannot succeed, why we must fail, why we do not have any opportunity. This mentality locks people out of success and happiness.
Victim Mentality is a Trojan Horse
As soon as this victim mentality is established in a person, others can control thinking and behavior. The result is often a disaster for the victim. Racists call their targets
- undeserving and without purpose
- existing just by mistake
- lacking opportunities
If they see an opportunity might open for their target, they quickly strive to close it. After holding their victim trapped for a time, possibly even forcing him or her to ask for help to survive, they present a carefully crafted “opportunity.” This so-called opportunity pulls and pushes the victim now into the position where the racist wants him or her to be.
Really bad groups like Al Qaida or their German Nazi brethren set up such traps. But so do seemingly benevolent groups. Religious sects might use it for indoctrination. Secret services might use it to recruit informants. Companies might use it to fill scape goat positions. The case of the former UBS-trader in London Kweku Adoboli could be an example for the latter.
Official Use of the Victim Mentality Trap
The proceedings prepared for asylum seekers and refugees in Germany are one example. The incoming refugees are not allowed to work. Instead they are forced to accept donations from the government. Later they receive a permission to look for work. But the Agentur für Arbeit, the relevant government agency, has to approve every employment offer they get. Under current law jobs are only allowed for them, if no German jobseeker can fill the position. If this law is implemented according to the letter, it is a crime for a highly educated refugee to use his skills. If there is no qualified job without a German applicant available, he can be forced into any job not wanted by Germans. His idle skills become quickly stale and useless.
How to Protect Our Children from the Victim Mentality Trap
If we want to provide a happy and healthy life for our children, we have to keep them out of the victim mentality trap. They have to know and believe that the world is full of opportunities, able and willing to provide abundance for everybody. We have to teach our children to spot their opportunities and to make good choices for their life. But how can we to do this in a racist environment?
If People Choose to Be Ignorant, Let Them Be
Racism is a subcategory of stupidity, and there is no way to forbid stupidity. The world is full of stupid people, and quite a number of them are stupid and outright bad. We cannot change that, but we can protect ourselves by keeping such people out of our lives. We and our children should be for racists as invisible as possible. This demands to choose carefully where we live, with whom we connect and to which child care centers, schools and universities we send our children.
Turning a Challenge into an Opportunity
We know that our children have to perform better than their indigenous peers. So we have to equip them accordingly. We have to provide an environment where they can develop excellence. We need to act as an anchor of stability and demonstrate emotional strength.
We need to provide a strong role model. We need to develop and teach excellent problem solving and crisis management skills. Problems and crisis will certainly show up. Racists will certainly try to attack a successful ethnic African in Germany in many ways.
On this basis we can help our children to develop excellent intellectual skills. It is very important to allow them exploring the world. We should forever replace the sentence “You cannot do …” with “I show you how to do …” or “we will find out together how to do …”
- We help our children to train and develop their senses from day one. The quality of their thinking cannot be better than the quality of the information input. And the senses provide the information input to the brain.
- We allow our children early on to make decisions. We ask do you want this or that. We respect their decisions whenever possible. We show them that they are important. Our children are certain that they count and they learn to consider carefully what to ask for. They learn also declining offers.
- We maintain an open atmosphere in our environment. We appreciate different point of views and respect people with different opinions.
- We help our children to understand the behavior of people. They should know that people can be helpful, but also careless and bad. The standard we set as role model is very important.
- We should never use deceptive behavior towards our children and never tolerate deceptive behavior in our sphere of influence. This will improve our quality of live in a big way and support the development of our children.
If we remain vigilant and open minded, we have the opportunity to transform the energy racism directs against our children into a strong drive to help them develop their full potential. Although racism is painful, we are not going to complain. We are going to succeed without asking for permission.